Well, finally this year I had my Christmas how I wanted it – alone. It may sound a bit awful to those people who like a lot of other people around but I really enjoyed just being me. By just being me, I mean that I could just relax and not worry about how I might be coming across or having to watch other people’s moods. Because that’s what I do when I am with other people. I am always hyper vigilant to what others are doing. So on Christmas Day I could just relax and just be.
I am a social phobic person, although I have got a bit better in the last few years. But not to the point where I really enjoy being around groups of people or I can relax. In my family of origin I had to be always aware of my family’s moods and that included everyone really. My Dad was the main one – we all watched his mood and trod on eggshells. It’s still a bit that way now. Mum was preoccupied with watching what Dad was doing but she could sometimes be as bad as Dad. And my brother took his temper out on me, probably because he couldn’t with anyone else in the family.
So I’m very aware of what people’s expressions are and very alert to changes in mood. It was so nice to just relax and not have to do that this Christmas. I did some reading, went on the computer, had some phone calls and some text messages and just veged out. I think it was a good choice, for me.
I hope everyone else had a Christmas the way they wanted it to be as well.
Kazza
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6 comments:
eggscellent, Kazza. When was the last time you did something for the first time? Yesterday !! Glad you had a good one.
I did have a good one Rosymosie. I am happy that I did what I wanted. It was exactly the way I wanted to spend my Chrissy day. I had company today when I went to visit friends, so I've at least not been totally isolated over Chrissy.
This Christmas, i lost the meaning of Christmas - well the meaning that i thought i had in Christmas.
Stange really. It seems to be happening around me all the time. It seems my world is changing so much that i truely have lost the meaning of most things.
Never mind. Just a tad out of sorts at this time. I'm glad you've found you're perfect Christmas Kazza. Good for you!
roses
Hey Kazza,
I am so glad you had a cool crimbo, nice and relaxed like you wanted it to be. Yea!
Hi Roses, I think so much is expected of us at Christmas time that it does lose its meaning. I'm sorry you are feeling a bit low. I hope you feel better soon.
Hey Kahless, it was a nice day!! I just read, relaxed and did whatever took my fancy. Hope yours was great too!!
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