Regrets?

A friend asked me today if I regretted not being a mother. I would have to answer that yes I do have a lot of regrets about not being a mother and I find lately that I have really been thinking a lot about it. The reason I’ve been thinking about it is because I know it is really too late now. I’m only 45 and I know woman have babies at my age but I know that I won’t.
When I was in my late twenties I really wanted to have a baby, more than anything. Unfortunately it didn’t happen or maybe fortunately, I don’t know. I say fortunately because at that time of my life I don’t think I would have made a good mother. I had too much baggage and unresolved issues and I don’t think I would have made a good mother. I didn’t and still don’t know how to respond to children – I think sometimes they’re almost like little alien beings!! I love babies though.
I really regret never having experienced carrying a baby and even the whole birth thing. I can’t relate to woman who have had children, simply because I haven’t experienced it myself. I can’t relate to how it must feel to have a child who is reliant on you for everything. I can’t relate to guiding that child through life, loving another human being in that way that most mothers love their children. And yes I feel like I have missed out on that.
I think I would make a lot better parent now than I would have in my twenties. Now I understand how my own upbringing would have influenced me in how I responded to a child. I wonder if I would have gone the other way and been too soft or whether I would have been harsh because that’s how I was bought up. I looked after my niece and nephew when they were little and I was so hard on them. I think now when I look back I was just so scared because they weren’t my children and I didn’t want anything to happen to them. I did love those children very much and it was such a huge responsibility being in charge of them. But I also responded how my father would have because that’s the way I was bought up.
I can’t change that I haven’t experienced pregnancy or had a child of my own. And now at this age I feel it is too late. That’s a regret I will need to come to terms with. At least I have had my "fur child" for the last sixteen years and she's been a special part of my life.

KazzaB