I’m so sad inside and I don’t know why
Or maybe it is denial, not wanting to see
A depression that sits in my soul
And brings tears to my eyes.
I don’t want this life that is nothing
A sameness of everyday that just keeps going
I want something else, if I only knew what
I don’t want to be sad, to not feel any joy
But I can’t seem to make my mind happy
I try to figure out why but it feels like going in circles
And coming back to the same thing again
I can’t force myself to get over what I’m feeling
When life looks bleak and everything looks grey
And it feels like something vital is missing
I just want to smile and laugh again, like I mean it
Not feel like life isn’t worth living.
Kaz
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
38 comments:
Is this how you are feeling right now Kazza?
I'm not feeling as down as I was Kahless but I sat down last night and decided that I need to look at things I want to change and things I can change. I think I am just taking a real hard look at things right now.
Anything I can do to help?
I am always happy to be a sounding board.
Thanks Kahless. I sat down and thought of the areas I want to take more control of. I listed health, diet and social life. I have a Dr's appnt next Tuesday and I need to have a really good talk with her and not leave stuff out. LOL Which I tend to do. I want to concentrate on eating more healthy food and drinking more water but not necessarily dieting. And I want to be a bit more social because I see other people out there living life and I'm not. What do you think of all that. LOL
I am not one for self control so I am impressed Kazza.
;-)
And as an unhealthy individual guess I am not good to give any advice on that one lol!
Social life sounds the fun one of the three and best to start there? I reckon with social life you have to put 100% in to get 25% back?
I'm a shy person Kahless, who will fade into the background if I can. LOL But I bought some new clothes recently and they aren't really fade into the background clothes, so I want to push myself to be a bit more out there. It's hard but I am getting better at it.
I don't feel healthy at the moment - I feel very unhealthy actually. And I'm ignoring things that I should get checked out so that's what I'm going to do. I really want to take more control because I know I am always happier if I do.
Is you doctor any good?
I haven't been seeing her for all that long but she seems to be okay. I think I can have a really good chat with her and get some honest feedback. Only thing is the appnts are 15 minutes and they run strictly on time so I might even cancel the one I have and make a double one. Then I won't feel rushed.
Sounds like you are being really assertive; that's good. My assertiveness is variable. (I was well assertive last night at the airport lol!)
I really appreciated the comment you left on my post the other day aout thinking of me, btw. I think you are a really nice and caring person and if you lived near me then I would go out socialising with you.
Thanks Kahless, I knew you hadn't been on here for a while and was getting a bit worried about you. I would love to be meeting you like Madeleine will be.
I vary in my assertiveness too but I think I am getting better. Definitely think I am getting better actually. But it's an ongoing process. LOL
I couldn't believe those people at the airport - that was so bad. I hope Mrs K is okay.
Actually Mrs K is as cool as a cucumber and not upset. Her attitude is that they were fuckwits and no reasoning with them. I am the one that has got out of my pram about the whole thing!
Strange really, she wouldnt normally be this calm. I think it was because I got upset that she remained strong.
Apparently my voice cracked but I was determined not to cry last night.
Oh and Madeliene can take photo's so you will be able to see what I am like.
Have you ever been to the uk?
Good on you for standing up to them. It might have been because you were so upset that she's kept calm. I would have been upset too. It will be interesting to see the follow up and what action they take.
No, I haven't but I would love to. One day. My grandparents were from England, although they spent most of their life in Australia. I must have relatives galore in England!! LOL
The thing that always pushes my button - guaranteed - is injustice and someone I see in a vulnerale position being picked on. then I am like a lion lol! My assertiveness amazes me in such situations.
I think it's great and would feel a lot better than not doing anything. If you hadn't said anything I think you would have felt worse and most likely beaten up on yourself. So good on you for standing up to the bullies!!
I have been doing a lot of research into my own ancestry and signed up to several websites. I have access to census and birth / marriage data. If you want me to have a look for you and trace anything let me know names and dobs as near as you have. My email addy is on my blog profile.
I might do that Kahless. I was going to do it ages ago, try and trace my ancestry but I don't think I have the patience!! LOL I know Grandad had something like 5 or 6 brothers and one sister. One brother went to Canada and was a Dr but I have no idea what happened to the rest. I don't have any names for his brothers but his sister was Annie. I find it fascinating.
I have become addicted to it. I have traced my fathers male line back to 1630.
No glamorous lineage to report, just working class ordinary people. I am happy with that.
I love history and I would imagine it would be so interesting to know who your ancestors were. I've got a fairly common name, as was my grandmothers name so I don't know how hard it would be too trace it. LOL
Hey Kazza if you grandparents are English then you could probably get an English passport and work in the UK !!
Good morning Mads.
I probably could. That would be great hey. You never know one day it might happen.
Wood and Palmer are the surnames Kahless - they're common names hey??? LOL
If you have an approx. year of birth, first names and district / county of birth or residence.
Yeah, I do. I'll email them to you. When I've said the name of the place Grandad was born people have said they've never heard of it. So it will be interesting to see what you can come up with. Maybe it was a place that isn't there anymore or has been renamed. I'll dig out all the papers today.
Morning Kahless.
I wonder if you have to have their birth certificate. My grandparents were born in the UK, but I don't have any more details other than their date of birth.
But you have their names Rosymosie? Could you go on just name and date of birth Kahless?
You dont have to have their birth certificate. Send me there names and dob, place of birth and I can look what census info there is. Gives siblings, parents etc.
year of birth is important to rule out people with similar names.
Okay, cause my grandad had a very common first name and last name. LOL I've always wanted to trace his family, although he really didn't have a lot to do with them once he came to Australia. He went back once but found that he didn't fit in. I think the last name Horton is another name associated with us.
Kazza you can do a lot on the net yourself. there's lots and lots of info out there. I've done a bit on mine. Not much cause I lose interest LOL.
I could Rosymosie but guess who has tried but hasn't got the patience??? LOL After I came up against a few brick walls the interest started to wane. Still interested but too frustrated to continue. LOL
I dont mind helping.
I like helping people.
I don't mind you helping either Kahless!! LOL You might have more patience than I have and be able to find out more from your side of the world. I find it fascinating but when it comes to digging up facts and finding things out, sometimes I just don't have the stick-to-itness!! I think I invented a new word. LOL
For me, I don't think there's enough interest, Kahless. I do know my sister in Canada is doing it as well so the information is there with the family and I guess that's what counts. I'm keeping track of the Australian contingent i.e. my son etc.
Anyways, Kahless and Rosymosie, I must move myself. LOL Otherwise I'll get nothing done today.
Have a good sleep Kahless!! Nite Nite. Sweet Dreams.
Seeya later Rosymosie. Have a good day.
I'm off too Kazza and kahless. Got some things to finish off this weekend before I leave in the very early hours of the a.m. next Saturday !!
Have a good one.
Post a Comment