Words

I wait for sleep to claim me, eyes shut tightly
Words are going through my mind, in a never ending stream
The words are childish words, almost like a chant
I feel like I’ve regressed, flitting between child and teenager
An image comes into my mind and I try to banish it, I don’t want it there
I never called him daddy, so why is that going through my mind?
It was too childish to call him daddy, even for a child saying her first words
Words keep repeating themselves, repeating, repeating, repeating
In a mind that wants to make sense of something, but can’t seem to grasp it
Sometimes the soul shatters all over again,
And then I have to put it back together, as best I can
All I want is to sleep, for the words to go away, for tightly shut eyes to stay that way
Flitting between child and teenager, grow up, grow up, quickly now
I’ll teach you all about it, I should be allowed to do that, look what you do to me
All my fault, all my fault
A little girl again, learning first words, running through my head
Sleep
Eventually
Words running………..
Sleep..

Kazza