Anxiety

I've probably posted this one before but this is how I felt towards the end of last week. And I've decided anxiety is NOT going to get the better of me. I will attack it back and I will win. I HATE being anxious, so much. It plays havoc with my life, it feels like crap and I don't want it anymore.

It can appear suddenly, clawing at my insides
With a pain that grips, like an iron claw
Or it can ache, just sitting there, gnawing away
It doesn’t matter, whatever way it starts
It hurts like nothing on earth, red and nasty
I don’t know what it’s about, most times it doesn’t let me know
It’s vague about the reason, just lets me know it’s there
Sometimes I know and maybe don’t want to acknowledge
It’s an out of control fear, a feeling deep down inside
Something that’s out of my control, that might happen
And I won’t be able to stop it, no matter how much I try
It’s a feeling of impending doom, of being lost
Of being left alone, abandoned and no good anymore
It’s a feeling of not knowing what’s next, of people who can hurt
Without even being aware that they do, it’s a child’s feeling
That comes from knowing hurt, anticipating the worse
It’s a feeling I can’t seem to stop, it bites with ferocious teeth
Sinking in and not letting go, until the fear gradually evaporates
Into thin air, like it never was, but waiting, just waiting
Until the next time, until the pain can hit again, until the feeling of doom comes again
And I can only wait and hope it stays away.

Kazza